Dear Betty
How are you doing? I am doing fine up here.Our Weather has been nice this week. Last week-end I was off & it rained all week-end. I was very down!! I wrapped my self up in Kyle's Quilt and realized a few things. I had never really thought about what it would be like a year or so after Kyle was gone & how things would change. It is sad & the quilt made all the difference in the world for me. Being able to wrap up in it & cry until there were no more tears to come & know that Kyle was all around me, gave me the comfort & peace with in that I needed to get through the day. Now that all the calls, letters, cards, e-mails & questions have either stopped or are far & few apart. His Flag is enclosed in a shadow box, his medals are hung near by. The picture's of his life are in the albums & on the shelf along with special things he won or left behind. The tree, In his Memory has been picked out & planted in the yard. My Gold Star Parent flag is proudly hanging in the window & the battered & torn U.S. & Marine Corps Flags at our front door have come down after a year of flying proudly at my door in his honor. They are folded & put with all the other memories of the year. I have seen, touched, hugged knelt & cried at the white marble headstone that read his name in the green, peaceful silent's of Arlington. His 24x18 Marine basic picture hangs on the wall so I won't forget his smile & his loving face. Oliver Peace, dressed in a Marine uniform & Sunshine in her Red, White & Blue Dress are the Penguins that I hugged & shed my tears on many a day are worn & need a rest. I wear a 24kt gold Marine Corps pin with a yellow ribbon on a Red, White & Blue ribbon everyday to honor Kyle & to bring home those that are away from their loved ones. There are so many other things that I have though of but none of them can I wrap around my whole 4'10'' body and feel the warmth of Kyle from head to toe as the Greatest gift a Morning Mother can ask for. The Quilt your Loving hands and those that work with you is a true gift from god.
To this Mom a year later when the world winds of the year has slowed down & the reality really sinks in deep in her heart that her only son is really gone, Kyle's Quilt is the only thing that is now truly touchable in every way.I would have never though that once everything was put in it's proper place or expected place in the after math of a the lost of a Loved one, could leave such a void in some one's heart & life. It can be truly heart breaking. I found this out with out any warning!! You would think, that just having all these things would be enough to get through the pain & move on. I was wrong. We have to put them in their proper place to protect the memories & the material things that we do have to keep them from harm. The mind understands this, but the heart wants to be able to still touch, see & feel all of these things. But the Quilt has all these things in it. Picture's of everything that I need to touch & feel. The warmth of love of Friends & the comfort of the Lord. I can feel it all, I can feel Kyle wrapped all around me, holding me in his arms as I cry or think of him. I can't express it well in word, but I do know the Quilt will never be far from me. At first it was just too beautiful to shed a tear on or wrinkle. I am still afraid that I am going to stain it or damage it. I could never replace it. I am so careful with it. I took it to Reno with me to show it to my Daughter & Grandmother. I wrapped her up in it & took a picture of it. She is 84 & was the one that told all the lies & stories about me. I have forgiven her & she is a peace now knowing that. She had tears in her eyes when I wrapped her up in it. She kept touching it & running her fingers over it. I could see that she knew that it was special & could feel the love that made it and the love of Kyle. It was 85 degrees that day & she has no air. She just sat there & took it all in.
What I have written in this letter may be shared with the loving crew that you have. I Have been dealing with all of this alone until now. Hubby and my friends here know that there has been some rough days for me, but I have told no one what I have been going through. Many would not understand & my Hubby has a lot on his plate right now. He worries about me & know's that I will talk about what ever it is when the time is right. I have to be going. I am getting really tired not just body but emotionally too, There has been tears through out this letter as I have written it. I am still hurting in some ways but I know as time passes this too will heal. I can't thank-you enough for making the Quilt for me. I would have never known I would needed it the way that I do. I pray that you always have the means to make & give these beautiful & blessed quilts to everyone that needs one.
Well I have to really be going now. May the Lord Bless & keep you Always Betty.
With all My Love & Friendship
Tia